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Never let a fool kiss you or a kiss fool you

February 6th, 2009

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I know they say not to kiss and tell. But I think this is a subject warranted. How many times have you been fooled? And you’re left wondering how and why. No one deserves to played by a fool. By no means is it cool. This is my understanding of who a fool is and how you can avoid being kissed by a fool.

Kissing a Fool-

It is most likely we have all been played by the fool.  It’s unfortunate but true.  But let’s break it down and put these fools in their place.  For being fooled once, shame on them, but being fooled twice, shame on you.  So, here are the clues for if you have or are being kissed by a fool.  First thing is to realize that there are two categories.  The charming and good looking fool and the pathetically cute and “oh, I want to fix him or her fool.”  They come around with all their wonderfulness and sweep us off our feet.  Or they put us up on a pedestal and allow us to feel all powerful, almost god like.  They know just what to say and do the right things.  At first they make all the effort to pamper you with their love and affection.   And once they have gotten that first kiss, everything takes a 360° turn.  Suddenly, you are caught up in a dreadful cycle of a tug of war relationship.  Kissing the fool begins to take its toll.

The Toll of Kissing the Fool-

After that first kiss things start to move fast.  The fool has gotten their hook in, and they know you need to be reeled in before you know what is coming.  The greatest fear of a fool is that you will discover the small and cowardly creature that they really are.  The in discrepancies start to appear, but the fool has many excuses and distractions to keep you busy.  For the world the fool promises to deliver will never materialize due to the true inadequacies he or she have and will continuously cover up.   A foundation of a relationship you thought you were building will begin to give way.  And as everything goes down the tubes, the fool will continue to fool.  They will never take accountability, and will leave you holding the bag on the real issues at hand.  Kissing the fool begins to weight heavy and you thought you did all you can.

Understanding the Fool-

They come in all shapes and sizes, all colors and origins, and all classes.  They can appear popular or even as the nerd in the crowd.  There is no one kind of fool. But fools are very clever and you should not be confused.  For underneath their cool exteriors are outright cowards.  A fool is someone who has developed a poor means of getting what they want.  They have no understanding of the truths and realities of life and have created a distorted version of their own.  It is an unfortunate case, and at times we are not truly fooled.  For we are suckers for the unfortunate who we think we can save from their own ludicrous ways.  And guess what?  They know that.  They play on the compassion of others because they know it is just another way to get what they want.  The problem isn’t in their environment.  So it is not something we should feel bad about.  It is something that lies truly within and can not be changed, until they see the error of their ways.  But this is unlikely, for once a fool always a fool.

Knowing a Fool-

Knowing a true fool will become clear rather quickly if you don’t allow yourself to be caught up in the whirl wind they will often create.  One of the first signs is the promise to deliver all the things you dream about.  They get into your mind and play off your dreams.  Fools play at being very mysterious, but it is really a cover for the lack of in their lives.  You will hear grand stories and adventures that have probably never taken place.  Since, a true adventurer is to busy adventuring and you would have probably met them on one of those adventures.  A fool’s words never meet his or hers actions, that is another sign, unless they are secret agents or something.  Watch out.  That could also be a sign, if they claim to be sworn to secrecy.  Overall, a fool will have a hard time fitting into a normal crowd.  You can fool some of the people some of the time but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time.  You will find that a fool will like to keep you alone.  They can easily fool you that way.  Knowing a fool is not very difficult, but if you get caught by the fool doesn’t necessarily make you a fool, just know what you are dealing with.  In some cases a fool may fool a fool and I guess that will make a happily fooled couple.

Being a Fool for the Fool-

I speak from personal experience.  And know the situation can be difficult to deal with.  The longer you are with a fool, the longer they have had to weave their tentacle sucking ways into your life.  They play good on your compassion.  We often confuse our own feeling of ‘feeling sorry’ for someone with true compassion.  We, ourselves have to learn the difference between these two.  ‘Feeling sorry’ for someone is actually a way we use to make ourselves feel better.  This is self-serving.  That is how a fool is able to play on our guilt.  See how clever they are.  That is why they can keep us coming back to them for the guilt we have for using them to make ourselves feel better.  Man they are so clever.  So don’t feel sorry for the fool.  True compassion allows us to do what is best for another person.  It allows us to serve them as a self-less act.  When you choose to do something for someone without anything in return, there is no guilt.  The fool looks for someone who can be easily confused with these matters, that is his or hers only hope of getting someone to fall into their trap.  After they tie you in emotionally, they will then begin to find ways to tie you in financially, and then ultimately they will hold you accountable for their lives.  WOW, they are good.

What Fools the Fool?-

Accountability, the very thing they try to avoid.  They are terrified of it.  Somewhere down the line a fool has learned that the goal in life is to get what you want without being accountable.  That could account for most dysfunctional people.  As you should know, a fool never gets too far on his or her own.  They ride on the backs of others.  So, what is the best way to get a fool off your back?  Throw some accountability at them.  Step out of their whirl wind.  Claim that you have no control and you no longer have anything to offer.  Fools like someone who can carry them.   A fool is often juggling a lot of balls.  Be wise and observe which ball will bring it all down, if you know what I mean?  A fool will never see it coming.  They think they are the master of their plan and never see it coming when the table turns.  Beat the fool at his or her own game.

Shaking the Fool-

This is not the easy part.  A fool is like a terrible fungal infection you cannot get rid of.  When they find someone to feed on, they can be reluctant to let go.  This can go in to many directions.  They can throw fits like a child who doesn’t get what they want.  A fool will withdraw and play further on creating a guilt trip, claiming to want to kill themselves or do something dreadful like that.  But believe me, that will never happen, remember they are cowards.  Sabotage is one of their favorite games.  So watch out for that.  But since they have no real grip on the real world and how it works, they are often ill equipped.  Sometimes fools are harmless.  But those kinds will wither away and fall deeper into their distorted versions of life and will eventually evolve into a greater a fool.  And if all else fails, move away and change your phone number.

Fool-Proofing your Life-

The best way to avoid kissing a fool is to have a standard.  It is your right to screen and test a person before you allow their lips to touch yours.  A kiss is the first step to an intimate relationship and should not be given away so easily.  Any person who is serious about you is not going to be trying to jump on you first off.  If you feel that hook and reel effect, back away cautiously.   No good could come of it.  And don’t take any excuses.  A person who is planning to build a serious relationship will precisely take it serious when approaching you.   They will come to you with something to give.  Not a fantasy and a bunch of excuses.  Don’t be afraid to create test, by using your friends and family to allow the person to reveal what intentions he or she has for you.  If they come off sly or downright deceitful, break away quickly.  Don’t waste your time.  A fool can also play passive and just not skilled at anything.  This person needs a friend and not a relationship.  So know that difference.  Just because you have a fancy doesn’t make it right also and you could end up being the fool.  If you don’t want to be fooled by a fool, then take your self and your life seriously.  Nothing comes like in our dreams.  Let me say that again.  NOTHING COMES LIKE IN OUR DREAMS!  Life evolves slowly with the choices and efforts we make.  We can make mistakes, but tomorrow is always another day.  We can try again.  Making good choices and effort will create a good life that you will eventually realize resembles your dream.  A fool’s life is an illusion, and in reality a bunch of nothingness.  Everything is thrown all up in the air all of the time.  A fool’s life never touches the ground and never becomes real.   So don’t be caught by the fool.

No Fools Allowed-

In this world where we are taught to help those in need, so sometimes it is hard when we see someone so needy.  That is why this subject is full of uncertainty.  Well, I hope to make you uncertain, no more.  I have dealt with a many of fools and probably at sometime or another tried to act the fool.  I have trailed deeply into the understanding of this subject and bring to you an understanding to set this matter straight.  We can feel for the fool but we cannot give a fool what he or she needs.  There are strict boundaries for a fool, for their game plays on the very nature of a human.  It is a very dangerous line between your survival and theirs.  A fool is no one to feel sorry for.   Remember the line between ‘feeling sorry’ or having compassion.   A fool is in need of understanding and acceptance of what life is really about.  By playing to a fool’s way will only continue the dysfunctional patterns.  Fools should be left among fools until they can find a better understanding.  All we can do is be good examples.   No fools allowed.  When a fool is not being a fool, commend him or her and encourage them to keep working on it.  But kissing a fool will only make you a fool.

  1. February 6th, 2009 at 17:04 | #1

    I just love this post, some great insights on foolishness. Cheers RR

  2. a huge fool
    February 6th, 2009 at 18:50 | #2

    Gotcha. People are parasites. Chuck those who are down on their luck to the curb. The compassion is overwhelming.

  3. February 7th, 2009 at 05:14 | #3

    This is a good question I would like to solve: just kiss your loved one!
    Even for the first time what a fool?
    Thanks!

  4. March 19th, 2009 at 10:15 | #4

    Why FOOLishness ?

    ” Everything is FAIR in LOVE and WAR !!!”

    LOL HA!HA!HA!

  5. Darshan Chande
    March 19th, 2009 at 22:04 | #5

    Well, won’t let a fool kiss me… but a kiss can always fool anyone.. very hard to avoid.. :p

  6. March 23rd, 2009 at 06:14 | #6

    Very Interesting blog. Judas Iscariot thougt he could fool the Messiah with a kiss, but he was fooling himself.

    Sabbay
    AdventistWheat

  7. Fooled One
    June 10th, 2010 at 14:16 | #7

    I just got fooled by someone…
    wish i read this before :(

  8. Naomi
    July 30th, 2010 at 00:12 | #8

    Loved your blog. I will never be fooled again! Thanks =)

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