Monkeying Around With Soldiers’ DNA

We have all heard the Josef Stalin. He was one of the first and possibly worst leaders of the now defunct Soviet Union. This man was a tyrant who orchestrated the deaths of millions of his subjects through an engineered famine. However, the Red Army, having been decimated by wars and civil conflicts needed to be replenished. Stalin had a plan to accomplish this goal and create a new worker class to perform the most menial of jobs without complaint.

In 1926, according to secret Soviet documents recently unearthed, Josef Stalin ordered scientists to create a subhuman race of “super soldiers” by combining humans and apes. The result he envisioned would have closely resembled the gorilla warriors from “The Planet of the Apes”. His exact orders were to produce soldiers who were immune to pain, had superhuman stamina, and were not overly picky about what they ate.

The politburo in Moscow funded the experiments and passed the orders to the Academy of Science. Ilya Inanov, a renowned scientist who had pioneered advances in artificial insemination, was endowed with $200,000 and sent to western Africa to begin the experiments. His job was to inseminate chimpanzees with human sperm.

At the same time, a base for the experiments and a special shelter for raising and instructing the offspring were constructed in Georgia, the birthplace of Stalin. This center was also used to experiment on human females using chimp sperm. It comes as no surprise to anyone that the experimentation with crossbreeding failed miserably.

Ivanov was sentenced to five years in prison for failing to produce the required results with his program. This sentence was later commuted to five years in Kazakhstan. Ivanov died a year later in disgrace.

Now, are you ready for the kicker? Modern geneticists have determined that humans and chimpanzees are more closely related than horses and zebras, two species that are capable of interbreeding. It is believed that the reason Ivanov’s experiment failed was that most of the fertilized eggs were rejected by the mother’s body as too deformed to survive. It is conceivable that had he tried harder and more times, Ivanov could have succeeded. One experiment, done in the 1980’s, created a viable embryo using human sperm and a chimp egg. The experiment was terminated due to “ethical concerns”.

Josef Stalin was the dictator of the Soviet Union for many years. Though he was later denounced, his reign was marked by many changes wrought throughout the country. He is known to have created a famine that wiped out over four million people. Amongst his other atrocities, Stalin tried to create a race of superhuman (or subhuman) soldiers to fight his wars. Had he succeeded, he would also have had a new slave class of laborers. The scientist chosen to carry out these experiments was known to have been successful with artificial insemination in thoroughbred race horses. His attempts to crossbreed humans and apes failed, but only because he did not try hard enough or long enough.