It Is Not The Men In My Life, It Is The Life In My Men

I finally got the idea and hope that by sharing it with you it will help you move on to building the life you deserve. I think most women have experienced a difficult relationship sometime or another and felt that it has held them back in life. Sometimes this is a continuous cycle for some women and it may lead us to blame our men, who we feel aren’t doing their part to make our lives wonderful. I used to ask myself why is it so hard to understand and deal with men.

I spent a good part of my life trying to create my ideal life with my man that I just could not get to materialize, then one day I looked up and realized my life was slipping away and all the things I wanted to do were not happening. Of course I wanted to push blame because if he would just get into my plan we could live that ideal life. And I found the more I pushed the more he pushed back. We were not getting anywhere. And for once I did the smart thing and stepped back. I did some figuring. I wasn’t going to withdrawal nor was I going to give up on the person I committed to. I had to go at this a whole other way. I needed to understand the life that was in my man. Well, one day I was just taking a walk and admiring a beautiful day and then it just hit me. Knowing a man’s upbringing is very vital to knowing the kind of man he is and guess what? We have to except this and what it has made him. Now, I now this isn’t always easy. Trust me I know first hand. But once I was able to do this and care for him and all that he was, I was able to put this issue aside.

It was not the man in my life. It was me. I was so busy trying to mold him, I ignored who he was. I was so busy scolding him I turned off my compassion for him. And we wonder why they run away. Okay, some even sneak away. Yea, it’s bad, you know what I mean.

I was overlooking the real challenge at hand. Instead of ignoring the life in my man, thinking I knew better, I should have been looking on how to unfold the layers that preserved the amazing man I new he was.

Life is hard in some way or another for everyone. But we have to take responsibility for our roles in each others lives. It is something we have to give to, not take from. I realized that I had to become the woman that the kind of man I wanted deserved. I stopped focusing on changing my man and started focusing on what I wanted to be. And there are challenges there, too. But if you really want it you will overcome the difficulties with patience and compassion. When my man realized I was busy with something else he started to wonder. Then the tables turned. I had his attention and he started to look at me in a whole other way.