Idiotic Dialogues

Court Dialogues

These are some fun exchanges that happened in a real court, in real circumstances.

Q:”Could you see him from where you were standing?”
A:”I could see his head.”
Q:”Where was his head?”
A:”Just above his shoulders.”

Q:”When he went, had you gone and she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all restraints on her not go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station.”
D.A:”Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.”

Q:”What is your relationship with the plaintiff?”
A:”She’s my daughter.”
Q:”Was she your daughter on February 13,1979?”

Q:”Where you alone or by yourself?”

Q:”How long have you been a French Canadian?”

Q:”What does the presence of sperm mean?”
A:”Intercourse.”
Q:”Male Sperm?”
A:”That’s the only kind I know.”

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